Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
