was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
