Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
