Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
