Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
they need to just BURY HIM!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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