When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
