I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize