Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
