I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
