where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
