My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
