I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
