I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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