she was so not down for the gang bang
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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