what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
