I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
