oh god the rape fog is back!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
