he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
