Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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