are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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