capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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