She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
