AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
