The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
