It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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