hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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