And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Who died my cat blue again?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
