I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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