I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
