Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
