it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
