Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
