Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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