I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize