The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
