I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
