Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize