He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
