I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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