I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i barfeds in our rink
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
