his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
