so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
