just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
