tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
