Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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