He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize