I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
