How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Randomize
