Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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