yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
