Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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