You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
