I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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