Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
