BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
