With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
