So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
