she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
