He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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