Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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