there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
And then my night got REAL pukey
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
