THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
