Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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